


Road Trip

by c_curculio



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Gen, Post-Canon, Road Trips, Slice of Life, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, loss of hearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:27:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24205138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c_curculio/pseuds/c_curculio
Summary: Gordon decides to take the AIs sight-seeing. Shenanigans ensue.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 175





	Road Trip

**Author's Note:**

> I used a writing prompt generator for this. The prompt I got was to use song lyrics but I didn't really do that because it's just a computer! It can't tell me what to do. 
> 
> Also: it's bass-boosted. You'll know when you get there. I couldn't find a way to describe it that made sense without just saying it outright, so I'm just letting you know ahead of time! :)

Gordon stepped back to admire his engineering handiwork. “OK, I think I’ve got it. Are you guys comfy?” 

He’d taped an adjustable webcam to the passenger seat headrest. His laptop was buckled in, and plugged into an absolute unit of a power bank that was intended for camping. A speaker sat in the center console. 

“This is wonderful, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer chirped. From the screen, he gave him a thumbs up. “I don’t recommend trying to look at us while we’re on this trip, now, Gordon. It’s important to be a safe driver!” 

“You don’t gotta worry about that, Dr. Coomer.” Closing the door, Gordon walked around and hopped into the driver’s seat. “This is just for you guys to see everything.” 

“Thank you, Mr. Freeman! I’ve always wanted to see what a real tree looks like!” Tommy said excitedly. 

Buckling in, Gordon turned the speaker up a bit. “The car can be kind of loud, so I’m gonna wear this. Hopefully you’ll be able to hear me alright.” He held up a small microphone. “It clips into my shirt.” 

“Why do you- what makes you think we wanna hear your shit voice? Huh?” Benrey commented with a frown. 

“Shut up. Uh, anyways, we’re all good to go, right?” Fumbling with the mic, Gordon clipped it onto the front of his shirt. 

“Let’s go, Gordon! I want to see you run someone over!” Bubby cried out. 

Shaking his head, Gordon pulled out of his driveway, cruising slowly down the street. It was a beautiful day- the sky was a deep, cloudless blue; the sun beat down hot and hard, but a soft breeze made the heat bearable. In the vehicle, Gordon turned up the AC. “Do you guys want music, or-?” 

“Popee the Performer theme 8-bit dubstep remix,” Benrey interrupted. 

“I don’t know what the fuck that is, and I doubt that it’ll be on the radio. Anyone that isn’t Benrey have any suggestions?” 

“Listen to me.” 

“You can decide, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy said. 

Turning on the radio, Gordon passed over a few country channels and a news channel before settling on the alternative rock station, just barely catching the end of Misery Business. As they merged onto the highway, a piano tune began to play. 

“Oh shit! Holy shit, I love this song!” Gordon gleefully turned the radio up a bit. 

“It starts with one thing, I don’t know why, it doesn’t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time, aaaall I know, time is a valuable thing, watch it fly by as the pendulum swings…” It wasn’t singing exactly, partly because what was playing was more like shitty rap, and partly because Gordon’s singing voice wasn’t that great. 

“... I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter!” He was grinning wide. They turned onto a back road that seemed to lead into the country. “I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.” 

Turning again, they passed through a tunnel created by the arching green boughs of the trees. Rounding a curve, a wide brown river came into view; massive rocks dotted the banks. As they passed by, Gordon waved to a few hikers resting on one of the boulders. 

“For all this, there’s only one thing you should knooooooooooow-” The road led out onto a bridge. Without the trees obstructing the view, the mountains ahead could be clearly seen. “ - I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even-” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Bubby interrupted him irritably. “I’m trying to enjoy the view.” 

“Dude, this is my favorite song!” Turning the volume down, Gordon gave the webcam the stank eye. “Like, you can pick what we listen to next if you want-” 

“Popee the Performer theme 8-bit dubstep remix.” 

“That's a terrible idea, Benrey!” Dr. Coomer said mildy. 

“I wanna listen to Rainbow Road by nanobii,” said Tommy. 

“Who?” Gordon turned onto a narrow dirt road leading upwards. 

“According to Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, nanobii is a Swedish producer whose first, and for a long time, only release under Monstercat was Rainbow Road,” he quoted. “He’s a self-proclaimed Frozen addict. I- I don’t know if he means the Disney movie.” 

“I, uh, I really don’t think they would play that on the radio, but-” 

“Popee the Performer theme-” 

“Benrey, be quiet!” Bubby sounded even more irritated. 

"- 8-bit dubstep remix," he concluded, speaking overtop of the grumpy scientist. 

Gordon let out a long groan. “This is why we can’t do things!” He huffed. The hill they were driving up was growing gradually steeper and steeper. 

“It’s not my fault you have shit taste in music, Gordon.” 

“Popee the Performer theme 8-bit dubstep remix.” The voice was very suddenly and loudly distorted over the speakers, and accompanied by an even louder crackling-static noise. Gordon let out a scream, almost swerving off the road as he reflexively jumped to cover his ears. 

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, BENREY!” Pulling over, he shifted the car into park. “Owww…” Gordon let his head rest on the steering wheel, hands over his ears. “Dude, we almost wrecked! Don’t do that shit!” 

“Wanna see me do it again?”

“NO! Fuck no, please, just be quiet for a second!” Gordon sat hunched over the wheel for a few minutes, waiting for the ringing in his ears to subside. Finally, he leaned back with a sigh. “... Okay. I think I’m okay.” 

“Mr. Freeman, Benrey blew out your speaker! You’re gonna have to get a new one,” Tommy said. His voice came out quietly over the speaker. 

“Oh for the love of- hang on.” Pulling the speaker from its place in the center console, Gordon turned the volume up a bit. “What about now?” 

“Tommy is right, Gordon. You’ll have to get a new speaker.” Dr. Coomer’s voice was almost drowned out by loud static, and Gordon quickly turned the volume down again. 

“... Fine! I guess we’re going home to get the other speaker! We didn’t even make it ten minutes away from home, but I guess we’re turning around!” Unplugging the ruined speaker, he tossed it into the backseat. “Benrey, if you fuck up my laptop speakers, I’m putting you into my old DSi and leaving you there.” 

“That would be kinda… wack.” 

Putting the car back into drive, Gordon carefully maneuvered the vehicle to point back in the direction they’d come from. “Then don’t do anything,” he said sourly. 

“I had a lovely time, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer said cheerfully. 

Bubby snorted. “Well, I didn’t.” 

“When we get home, can we listen to Rainbow Road?” 

Gordon glared out at the road ahead of them and let out an angry sigh.


End file.
